For a departed friend

It has been exactly a month now since this happened for the first time in my life. A former colleague and a beloved friend of mine who had been a bundle of energy and enthusiasm in almost everything she did was silenced forever by meningitis.

I was told, she had prolonged fever and hence applied for some time off work. Following persistent fever, she had seizure that never ceased and after fighting the disease for the whole of February and for a week in March, finally lost the battle.

I never traveled to Hyderabad to visit her. I didn't do so because, I honestly thought (until one week before her death) that it was a matter of time before she recovered. But she didn't. I didn't attend her funeral because, I had to admit it... I wasn't brave enough. But I don't regret it either. I remember her smiling face and explosive laugh rather than silenced body.

But I do regret one thing, days before she was hospitalized (and when she was still well), she came up on chat and complained that I never called. I had to run then, so I promised her to call and left my number. I wish I had called her. But I didn't and now I can't.

Apart from being a good friend, she is one of the very few people who took active interest in my efforts in the social sector and was the only person who taught English to the kids whom I taught Physics. I suppose one thing I can do in her memory is to restart this effort. I will.

I have come to realize a few things, albeit the hard way from her departure. I had listed this to a friend earlier which I think is worth sharing here too.

• Life is a gift and we are all very very lucky to have one especially because it can be snatched away brutally in a matter of minutes.
• A healthy life is even more a precious gift. We better live it more responsibly (as per ones' own definition)
• And Friends. I am sure all of us have friends who are as sweet as her they can't be taken for granted (she wasn't a granted for us). And they are priceless gifts. We meet them by pure stroke of luck and they end up playing such a positive, sometimes decisive role in our lives. We better treat them well. Keep in touch. Before it turns out to be too late.
• It isn't just friends. Anyone (relatives, neighbours) whose departure may affect us as bad as her departure.

How I let my first friend slip away...

"NS" was my first friend. I don't mean the "was" to mean that he isn't my friend now, but because I have lost track of him. My parents say he became your friend from when I was just months old. They said he used to come to our home as a kid to watch TV (the only one of the two in that locality then) but kept watching me play as an infant. It amazes me but doesn't surprise me at all as ever since I gained control of my senses, there was NS, his home right in our street.

Almost everything about him was curious. He is a Jain and remains the only Jain I know in first person till date. I have gone to temples with him and remember seeing him wear the "vibuthi". He had a red coloured bible at home that he got from his Christian school due to which I knew of the existence of bible. For a long time, I have seen a picture of a Jain Tirtankara on top of a tall pedestal with with all sorts of animals sitting on a spiral ramp that leads up to the pedestal. And for years, I had thought that it was Buddha. :)

He was creative! He once showed me a picture of Mickey Mouse dressed in a red wizard's robe. That was the first time I believed that every day people that I meet can draw something beyond match-stick figures with just pencil, crayons and papers. A couple of years or so later, I myself had a small collection of Mickey, Donald and Goofy, and then veered off to mythological characters like Hanuman, Rama, Shiva and Krishna. The best I did was a picture of Sita garlanding Rama during Swayamvaram, that I reproduced from "RamaKrishna Vijayam" a spiritual magazine that my parents had subscribed to then!

His creativity didn't stop with just drawing. He was a bit of a science geek too! In his early teens (or may be a bit earlier) he had amused me by making a car chassis using a couple of batteries , motor, a few wheels pulled out from god-knows-whose-toys!

But he was not all geeky all the time. We had a lot of fun flying kites, catching fish from streams flowing on the road after monsoon, playing games involving good guys, bad guys and fights involving all the Tamil movies that we saw.

After close to 20 years, I only increasingly miss those days. I was jogging this morning when for no reason all these memories came up and I felt a sudden rush of stupidity at how I have let such a friend who has influenced so much of my first memorable experiences slip away. Facebook has come to the rescue in making up for the mistake. I have found him in seconds on search and have sent a friend request. Keeping my fingers crossed!

Met an old friend!

I invited TR Deepa, an old friend from school, her husband and her cute son Shashank home. She had been here in Hyderabad since 2003 and me since 2005, but haven't met up till last saturday. Had food at a nearby restaurant. It was a lot of fun meeting her with her family. Her son is an active young man and am sure is going to attract a lot of girls when he grows up (if he already doesn't! :D). Such a smart looking fellow. But for some reason, I found that he is fond of Mehendi! :)

Had a lot of fun trying to recall what we used to do during school and exchanged knowledge about what Xth-friends are doing currently. Special thanks to Girija, another school-time friend of mine, who sent X-std class pictures. We went over it once again. My wife especially laughed @ how I looked then.

Meeting with old friends sure is a lot of fun. Especially when they have toddlers! Not every thing is so happy though.There is one that I still can't digest. Deepa is still taller than me! :(